The truth is you could slit my throat and with my one last gasping breath
I’d apologize for bleeding on your shirt.
””“”“why did you cut your hair?::”“”“” i cut my hair to piss you off. specifially you, i was thinking of you when i cut my hair. i was thinking that you, specifically, would be interested in what my newly short hair meant to you, specifically.
theres only one thing
reblog my selfie
Fun fact: Cheetahs only attack prey that runs
jesus that is good to know.
Yup, that’s the point you just stay still and let it do whatever the fuck it wants that doesn’t involved you getting eaten.
REALLY FUN FACT for big cats cheetahs are fucking docile as shit
my grandfather ran a cheetah sanctuary in south africa and he’d just lie with them and sleep among them and they’d rub against him and chirp at him they’re big fucking babies
Another Fun Fact: Cheetahs are incredibly nervous animals. One of the (many) reason’s they’re going extinct is that cheetahs are so sensitive and nervous, some of them are literally too nervous to breed. Others will breed, but stress themselves out so much, they’ll lose their cubs.
So zoos with breeding programs had to figure out how to make cheetahs comfortable enough to first of all, get laid and secondly - not spazz themselves into miscarrying.
So what’d they do?
They gave the cheetah’s their very own Service Dogs!
The dogs make them feel safe, protected and secure!
AJHHHHFDDGHH SO PRECIOUS
this post just got so much better
THIS IS OFFICIALLY MY FAVOURITE POST
bringing this back because important
"I hate that guy so much he makes my dick cold"
but what is spiderman so ashamed of
a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant
“two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’”
“got it. check my dashboard”
“that skeleton gif you like is back again”
he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”
3 more days until the praise it then blaze it jokes take over tumblr
my brother said this to my dad in the car and lets just say the car got lighter, and someone had to walk home 4 miles
this really works for some people (like 10-30 new followers) so give it a try!
try it out
*stabs you with knife* you see it’s a metaphor it can only kill you if- oh shit never mind that’s a lot of blood
if you ever feel like a failure, just remember that jack crawford and the fbi arrested a vegan as the main suspect on a cannibal case
ITS NOT SEWING SUPPLIES!
My question is how does every single person identify with this, is it like a secret rule to use those for sewing supplies?
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”